Rain.

I'm learning some very hard, yet incredibly valuble lessons in life right now.  God is showing me things day after day about how short life really is.  Everywhere I turn there is sadness, sickness, pain, loss, death.....you name it, it's happening to someone I know. 

I have a friend who was pregnant with her second child and went to the doctor for a regular checkup at 16 weeks and they could not find a heartbeat anymore.  She and her husband were so excited and they are in a good place in their life to care for more children.  I just can't understand why God would take their precious little baby that would be loved and well cared for, but give other women a baby who cannot care for or don't want a child.  I even think of how in a way it seems unfair that God gave Scottie and I our "surprise bundle" in Jaxten when we were not at a place that we felt we could handle another baby (not that he wasn't wanted and we absolutely would not trade him for anything in the world).  I'm so thankful that God allowed us to have him and that he is perfectly healthy and such a happy boy, but sometimes I wonder why us and not someone more deserving.  

Last week, my best friend's (from my early childhood) father passed away.  Her younger sister went to his house early one day to check on him because he had recently been in an accident.  He was a truck driver and he was pulled over on the side of the road when another truck ran off the road and hit him.  It could have killed him.  But God spared his life and he was still healing from all the injuries he sustained in the wreck when his youngest daughter walked in his house that day and found him not breathing.  I cannot even begin to imagine the kind of pain she must have felt that day.  I love my daddy so much.  I'm 28 years old, but when I'm with my daddy sometimes I still feel like a little girl that just wants her dad to hold her tight and make the bad stuff disappear for a while.  I have always been, and will always be "daddy's girl".  My own dad is struggling with some very hard things right now with his marriage and the pain of having back and knee troubles.  It's all piling up on him and I can see his joy being sucked right out of him.  It hurts enough to see him struggling with these issues, but I couldn't imagine losing him and certainly not being the one to find him like that. 

Scottie has a friend from his old church that is in very critical condition right now due to an infection of some kind.  This is the son of the pastor of the church that Scottie grew up in. It is also the church where we met and the preacher that married us.  His son is 37 years old and has a sweet wife, a little boy and a baby girl due in December.  He had been sick and in pain so he went to the hospital only to be released within a few days with no real answers.  He ended up back in the hospital a couple days later and had emergency exploratory surgery.  They removed several inches of his colon with about 3 quarts of infection in it and got at least 1 pint of infection out of his stomach.  They had to leave him open for 2 days to irrigate and then went back in yesterday to close him up but the surgery did not go well.  So they had to induce a coma because they had to leave him open again.  He is on life support and his prognosis is not well. His mom and dad said they will not leave the hospital until he improves.  I have been thinking about his poor wife and how stressful this is to deal with under normal circumstances, but she's also 6 months pregnant.  What if he doesn't make it and leaves her with two kids to raise alone?  What if he doesn't make it and she loses the baby from all the stress? 

I was reading on facebook last night and came across a status post that made my heart drop.  One of my best friend's mom was involved in a car accident and was killed instantly.  My friend was sitting in church last night when her niece came in during the service and asked her to come outside where she delivered the news that completely changed her life.  When I called her to see what happened, she was crying so hard I could barely understand what she was saying.  Her mom was driving somewhere and a van crossed the center line in the rain and hit her head-on.  The paramedics said they are fairly certain she died on impact and that she didn't really feel any pain.  I guess that is somewhat of a blessing?  She just kept saying that she hoped her mom was saved and ready to go.  I think that may be one of the hardest parts.  Not knowing where her mom will spend eternity.  She said she talked to her mom everyday and didn't know how she would adjust to not doing that.  She said she didn't tell her she loved her enough.  It made me think of my mom and how she wasn't around for the better part of my life until the last 5 years.  But in these past few years she has become my best friend.  She is the person I can talk to about ANYTHING and I can be exactly who I am around her with the good, bad and ugly.  I realized that I take that for granted.  I called my mom when I got off the phone with my friend just to say "I love you" and to make sure she knows how much it means to me to have her be a huge part of my life now.  It just doesn't ever really hit me that she might not be here tomorrow.  I don't know what I would do if I lost her.

There are SO MANY more people in my everyday life that are struggling with crazy things.  I have hardships too but the past month has really started to put things into perspective for me.  I have blessings above and beyond what I deserve.  God has been so good to me and my family and even if he did take everything away from me, I still would have to say I'm blessed.  He has given me his love and forgiveness and he sent his ONLY son to die on a cross to save my soul from hell.  That alone is the greatest blessing of all, but he still has seen fit to give me "extras".
I have my health.
I have 2 perfectly healthy, smart children.
I have a healthy, able-bodied husband who works hard to support our family.
I have a mom who is also my best friend and would do anything for me and my kids.
I have a dad who is a wonderful man and taught me about the love of Jesus at an early age.
My granny has done more for me in my life than I could ever repay or give thanks for.
I have a good, secure job.
We have a house, that may not be just what I want, but is certainly all that we need.
I have a wonderful church to worship in that is on fire for God.
I have the best in-laws that anyone could ask for.
I have friends that I can laugh with, cry with and be crazy with.
My husband and I have reliable cars to drive.

I could seriously keep going on and on but let's just suffice to say, I'm abundantly blessed.  I really want to make sure that my friends and family know how much I love and appreciate them.  No one knows what tomorrow holds.  I also have a burden for my family and friends who may not be saved.  I truly believe in heaven and hell and it makes me so sad to think that people really do die and go to hell when it is so easy to just trust in Jesus.  

Ok, so that's my depressing post for the week.  I just hope I can catch hold of what God is trying to show me.  Thank you Lord for all your blessings and for the strength to get through the hard times.