New preschool, let the crying begin.

So I told you all about the big boy haircut for the new preschool. Well, he started at the new preschool last Thursday, and of course he has cried everyday since. Now you all know that he had a problem with this at the old daycare. We finally got a handle on it, and he switched schools.

So, we are back to crying. He cries, I cry, the people looking at me in the halls get a little teary eyed. It's quite the spectacle. He is just so pitiful. This is our conversation every morning on the way to his new school.

Caden: "Mommy, am I going to school today?"

Me: "Yes you are"

Caden: "My new school?"

Me: "Yes baby"

Caden: (crying is beginning) "But I want to go to my old school. I don't want to go to my new school. (crying harder now) Please don't take me to that new school"

Me: (heart broken) "But you will have so much fun at your new school. Your teacher is so nice, and your friends from church go there. It will be great"

Caden: (continues to beg me not to take him to this place) "But I will not have fun, I promise I will not have fun today."

And you get the picture. They literally have to pry his hands off of my neck, and his little face is soaking wet with tears. It just tears me up to have to leave him somewhere ALL day EVERY day. I don't want someone else to raise my children. I want to do it. God gave them to me and I want to be there for them. I think it's just awful that once he starts kindergarten, that's it. He'll be in school every day for 13 years with homework every night. Then, it's off to college (hopefully). Then, it's off to the real world with jobs and marriage and kids and my baby is a grown man.

He's 3 years old. That only leaves me about 2 years until his journey to adulthood really begins. Then, there's this new baby. I don't want to leave this child while I work 40 hours a week + 5 hours worth of lunch time + about 7.5 hours of driving time. That's over 50 hours away from my new baby. It just makes me sick to think about it. It would just be perfect if I could stay at home with the kids until they start school. I really don't have anything against working, and I actually like my job for once. But, I feel like I should be at home with my babies. I feel like God would be pleased with it, but he's gonna have to work out our financial situation because cutting out my income will put a dent in it. I know he can, I just have a hard time letting control of things go and turning it completely over to him. I really like to be in control, or at least feel like I'm in control.

But this whole thing is really stressing me out. So, please help me pray about finding and really listening to God's will about this.

(Man, 2 posts in one day! I'm on a roll! And it helps that blogger somehow came up at work today. I'm still working too, just blogging in between members!)