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Thursday, December 31, 2009

My body doesn't like having babies I guess

First of all,

HaPpY NeW YeAr!!!!!!!

I know it has been forever since I posted, but let me tell ya, it's been a crazy few weeks.  So this is going to probably definately be a jumbled mess of a post.  Hang on, here we go!

I am 31 weeks preggo now and I can't decide if I have 9 LOOOOONG weeks to go or ONLY 9 weeks to go.  It seems like it's flying by sometimes, like when I open the door to the junkroom nursery and see stuff everywhere instead of a crib and glider rocker waiting for me and Jaxten.  I just couldn't force myself to even think about all things nursery during the holidays.  That would be sensory overload for me right now.  But now I have no excuses (other than the whole not being able to move heavy furniture thing) so my husband and I will be tackling this job very soon.  Thank goodness we don't have to paint.  Just place, arrange and go.  Sounds so easy in a sentence.  Don't think it will go quite like that.  But, we do have to get on the ball a little bit.  Which brings me to my next point. 

You know I have mentioned the really bad heartburn I've been having.  Well, I starting getting another pain on my right side and last Sunday I had excrutiating pain for about 12 hours.  I had already been to the doctor about it once and they just brushed it off and told me it was probably round ligament pain, or in other words, just muscles stretching and hurting.  Well, after this 12 hour ordeal, I went to the doctor on Monday and again they were trying not to make a big deal out of it and I almost had to get downright mean with them.  I told them I thought I was dying while the pain was bad and there was no way that could be from a muscle stretching.  So they ordered some bloodwork to appease me and my liver enzymes were elevated a little. They sent me for an ultrasound of my gall bladder and sure enough, I have gall stones.  I felt like saying a big fat "I TOLD YA SO!"  I am a baby when it comes to pain, but even I knew it was a bit more serious than a stretching muscle. 

I had to go see a surgeon about it and the plan is to try and wait until after I have the baby to perform surgery to remove my gall bladder.  If we can wait until about three weeks after delivery, they can do it laparoscopically and I will only spend 1 night in the hospital.  If we do the surgery now, they will have to make an incision of about 7-8 inches below my right ribcage and there is a risk that all the tapping around my uterus could send me into pre-term labor.  The only reason they are thinking about doing the surgery now is because some of bloodwork came back abnormal.  My liver enzymes were elevated a little, meaning I'm just shy of being jaundiced.  A normal biliruben level is up to 1.0.  Mine was at 3.0.  At 4.0, you start turning yellow just like babies that are jaundiced.  By 5.0, I would probably need the surgery now.  So they want to check my bloodwork every Monday and I'll see the surgeon every Tuesday until either I have the baby, or the numbers change.  In addition to seeing my OBGYN every 2 weeks right now.  Dr appointments every week......happy happy joy joy. 

Oh, and to top that off, they put me on a "bland diet".  Nothing fried, fatty, spicy......in other words, taste-free food.  No salads, no green vegetables, no sauces....and the list just goes on and on.  It is so hard to figure out something to eat that fits in these restrictions.  I guess it's grilled chicken and mashed potatoes everyday.  But, if eating different saves me from having a painful attack, I'll just suck it up and do it.  Cause let me tell ya, a gall-bladder attack H.U.R.T.S! 

So that's where we are right now.  I'll update again after my next bloodwork.

Friday, December 11, 2009


Jaxten Scott Speer
27 weeks 4 days

Look at those cute little fingers!

His eye is open in this picture.

Too cute!!

He already knows how to pooch that lip out and pout!

I love those little lips!

I think he's grinning!

The most precious face ever!  He has his daddy's lips, which is one feature I have always loved about his daddy!

He kept his feet up in front of his face half the time we were there!  Flexible little thing!

I am completely over the moon for this little man already.  It's amazing to see him moving and making faces.  It's neat to compare his features with Caden's ultrasound pictures.  They really don't look alike.  Caden looks just like me, so I am kind of hoping this one looks more like his daddy.  I do think Caden is the most beautiful child I have ever seen (even if he does look like me), so if Jaxten looks like him it would be just fine.  But it would be neat for Scottie to have one that looks like him.  I am just amazed at this technology.  We get to do this again in 4-5 weeks, and I can't wait!!!!!!  See ya soon my precious baby boy!!

Monday, December 7, 2009

Cars, Cars, Cars

Well, I guess I'd better post something since it's been about a month!  My computer at home checked out again.  So, we got a new one.  But, I haven't put any pictures or anything on there yet and sometimes posts without pictures are just a little boring.

Nevertheless, here I am.  I guess quite a bit has happened since the last post.  I had taken my car to be checked because it was making a clicking noise and they told me it was the engine.  So I decided to get a second opinion and sure enough, the engine was blown.  We had just bought my husband a car several weeks ago because his Explorer wasn't really reliable, so he said he would drive his Explorer and let me drive the new car until we decided what to do about my car.  The first day he took off towards work in his Explorer, guess what happened.  I'm not even kidding, that ding dong truck's engine blew and left him on the side of the road.  Isn't that just a great Christmas season for ya.  Two car engines down in one week.  Amazingly enough, someone Scottie works with had bought a car like Scottie's new one just a few weeks ago, (they bought them through the company so they both got killer deals).  He bought it with the intention of selling it for more money than he paid.  Well, when he found out about our car situation from Scottie, he said he felt like God would want him to sell us the car for what he paid for it. So even though we had to buy two cars within two months, we got them both for the basically the price of one! 

God is good.........ALL THE TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Songs of Praise!!!

***These are songs that my group, CrossView, sings or just songs that mean a lot to me.  We only sing songs that lift up the name of Jesus Christ our Savior. I hope you can let the words minister to your heart even though there is no music.*** 

That's All That Matters To Me

I believe there are streets of gold, but it's alright with me
If there's nothing more than one old gravel road
And I know a mansion's waiting, but a cabin suits me fine
Just a place where I can rest my heavy load

Oh they say there is a river that flows beneath the throne
And the surface there reflects that holy place
Oh I'm sure that all the splendor will be so grand to see
But what I long to the most is Jesus' face

Cause' that's all that matters to me
To bow my head and thank my blessed Savior on my knees
On those peaceful hills of glory in his presence I will be
To know I'm home
That's all that matters to me

Oh the lights of that fair city will never fade away
It's a perfect land where night will never come
But all the beauty I'll behold there can't compare to how I'll feel
When I hear my precious Lord say well done

Cause' that's all that matters to me

To bow my head and thank my blessed Savior on my knees
On those peaceful hills of glory in his presence I will be
To know I'm home
That's all that matters to me

Monday, November 9, 2009

Well, that's just great.

Well, I guess I'm going to have to read my post The Same God over again.  But this time I need it for me. 

My car started clicking and purring on Friday, and let me just say that I never heard it make a sound before that.  I drove to the Advance Auto store and had them check the oil.  They said it was pretty low so they filled it up for me.  (I also found $3.00 in the parking lot which paid for Caden's happy meal, well, almost, it was $3.01.  And yes I fed him a happy meal, big deal).  Anyway, it slacked off a little on the clicking, so I went Saturday morning to just have the oil changed.  I thought maybe it could use a clean filter too.  And again, it helped the clicking a little bit. 

I got in my car this morning to drive to work, and what do I hear?  Clickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclick.
Great.  That's just what I need.  So I took it to be checked out at a garage today and they didn't tell me something I wanted to hear.  They said they wished they had some better news for me, BUT..........

The engine is dying.  

The engine.  The motor.  The very life of the car.  DYING.  It's just a matter of time, but it's coming.  Could be tomorrow, could be next week, could be next month.  But either way, my car will die.  He said the clicking will just continue to get worse, (from what my non-car-knowledge brain can understand the clicking is stuff knocking together in the engine which is tearing it up) until one day the lights will start coming on and going off inside the car and it will just go crazy and die. 


Do you want to know how much this is probably going to cost?  A WHOLE ARM AND PART OF ONE LEG!!!  In other words, a used engine and the cost of labor to put it in will run about $4000.00.  Or the alternative is to buy a new car. 

Again, GREAT.

So, I'm trying to remind myself that the same God that was walking around in the fire and saved the three Hebrew boys from being burned CAN and WILL help me with my car.  There is a reason this happened, and although it really stinks right now, I have to trust in God that he knows what he's doing. 

I do wish he would let me in it though.  Just a little heads up would be nice!

Songs of Praise!!!

This is my first Songs of Praise post.  I sing with my family in a bluegrass gospel group called CrossView.  It's my dad, my uncle and me singing, my husband playing the guitar and dobro, and a teen from our church playing the bass.  My dad also plays the guitar, banjo, and mandolin.  I play the mandolin too.  We sing all over North Carolina and sometimes Virginia and South Carolina as well.  My dad's family has been singing since he was about 5 years old and they used to go by the name Middle Cross Quartet.  We only changed the name when my grandma became to sick to travel anymore and we just didn't feel like it was really Middle Cross without her.  I want to share with you the words to some of the songs we sing. (And also some that we don't sing but I still really love)   We only sing songs that lift up the name of Jesus Christ our Savior.  I hope you can let the words minister to your heart even though there is no music. 


Words & Music by Dottie Rambo

Amazing grace will always be my song of praise
For it was grace that brought me liberty.
I can not know just why He came to love me so;
He looked beyond my faults and saw my needs.

I shall forever lift mine eyes to Calvary
To view the cross where Jesus died for me.
How marvelous that grace that caught my falling soul;
He looked beyond my faults and saw my needs.

I shall forever lift mine eyes to Calvary
To view the cross where Jesus died for me.
How marvelous that grace that caught my falling soul;
He looked beyond my faults and saw my needs.

He looked beyond my faults and saw my needs.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

I know that I know!!

These things have I written unto you that believe on the name of the Son of God; that ye may know that ye have eternal life, and that ye may believe on the name of the Son of God.                                             I John 5:13 KJV

This is one of my new favorite verses in the whole Bible!  I've actually always believed it, but never knew where to find the verse to tell someone else who may have questions about it.   This verse is so important to anyone who is a born again christian. 

The day I got saved is the single most important day of my entire life.  Of course my wedding day and the day my son was born are a real close 2nd and 3rd, but my eternal salvation definately tops the list.  Without being saved by God's amazing grace, I would be doomed to spend all of eternity in hell.  Yes, I fully believe there is a heaven where saved people go to be with Jesus, but to believe that, you have to believe in hell also.  It's just as real as I am sitting here typing this.  Not having to go to that awful place is very important to me as I'm sure no one really wants to go. 

The thing is, no one has to go.  The one and only thing that makes a person go to hell is not accepting Jesus as their personal savior.   The one and only thing that will allow you to go to heaven is fully accepting Jesus as your personal savior.  It's not by the works or good deeds that you do, just like it's not about the rotten ugly things that you do either.  
(For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God:  Not of works, lest any man should boast.  Ephesians 2:8,9  KJV)

It's simply believing with all your heart that Jesus Christ is Lord, and asking him to come into your heart. 

That's it. 


It's not some big complicated thing. 

Then, once you get that concept, some people start to question their salvation after they get saved.  They begin to realize that they are still flesh and they still sin.  They don't feel perfect and good all the time and that can be scary.  But christians are NOT perfect and sinless.  

Christians are simply sinners saved by amazing grace and forgiven.  

You are still gonna mess up.  You are still gonna do the wrong thing sometimes.  You are still gonna fail God and disappoint him at times.  

But God is very good about forgiveness.  Thank God for that!!!  When you realize that you have done wrong, (that is the conviction of God, like him whispering (or shouting if needed) to you that he's not pleased with how you are acting) all you have to do is say you are sorry (and mean it) and he will forgive you. 
(whew, that's a whole lotta ( ), sorry!)

Now, here is the good part!!!!

You cannot be un-saved.  Even when you have sinned, you will never be un-saved and have to get re-saved.  Salvation is eternal.....forever.....for always.....never ending.....Do you get the point?!?  That is what this verse is saying.  You don't have to worry about it.  If you ever get saved, and I mean truly get saved in your heart, you will always be saved.  God knows you will mess up sometimes, and he loves you anyway! 

Without this verse, I would be so scared that if I died at the wrong moment I might not go to heaven.  I would have to ask forgiveness almost everyday because I'm sure I sin almost if not everyday.  I could never be "good enough" to deserve heaven.  No one that has ever lived or ever will live (besides Jesus) could ever be "good enough" to deserve heaven.  But what a blessing it is to know that I don't have to worry about that.  Don't you think it would be kind of mean for God to say ok, here's your salvation from an eternity of hell, and then take it back the next time you sin.   Our God is not like that.  Our God sent his only son to die on a cross so that ALL of my and your sins could be washed under the blood!  Past. Present. Future. 

Our God is awesome and his plan of salvation is perfect!  I'm so glad he extends salvation to anyone who truly wants it.  If you'll just let him in, you can know without a doubt that you are his child from now to eternity, and what a great thing that is to KNOW!!!

Monday, November 2, 2009

The Same God

Last night we had a singing group called The Phillips Family visiting with us at church.  I have heard them many times and they are so good!  It's three brothers and a sister and you just can't beat good family harmony.  I knew one of the brothers used to be a pastor, but I had no idea one of the other brothers was a preacher too.  After they sang, he preached a message, and can I just say.......WOW!  I love it when preachers use stories and explain things in a way that I can really connect with.  I was really struck by one of the points in the message.  It wasn't the whole subject, but it really stood out to me.

First, here's a little background.  Nebuchadnezzar the king had made an image of gold and set it up.  He told all the people in the land that when they hear the sound of this certain music, they are to fall down and worship the golden image that he had made.  He said any people that do not  immediately fall down and worship shall be cast into a fiery furnace that same hour. 

Well, the music played for the first time and everyone began worshipping this man-made golden image.  Everyone except for Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego.  They did not bow down.  Some of the kings people came and told the king that these three Hebrew boys had disobeyed him which made him very angry.  He had the three men brought to him and even told them a second time that they were supposed to bow down and worship this golden image when they heard the music.  I can just imagine the king saying something like
"What's wrong with you boys?  Can't you hear?  I told you to bow down and worship this golden god of mine when the music plays.  Now are you gonna cooperate or not?"

Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego did not even have to think before they answered the king saying
"O Nebuchadnezzar, we are not careful to answer thee in this matter.                                                        
If it be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of thine hand, O king.
But if not, be it known unto thee, O king, that we will not serve thy gods, nor worship the golden image which thou hast set up."

**This is how I can imagine it being said,
"Now you listen here o king, we are not gonna candy-coat this or beat around the bush any.  If you are gonna throw us in the fire, you just go right ahead.  Our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the fiery furnace and he will deliver us out of your hand.  But if he doesn't, you make sure we're clear on this, we will not serve your silly piece of gold you call god!)

They knew who their God was and they knew he was alive and full of power to help them unlike that chunk of gold the king wanted them to serve.  Can you imagine talking to something like a candlestick and asking it to help you through your daily trials and struggles?  It can't hear you....it can't move.... it's not real.  I stand in awe of their boldness to answer with certainty who they were going to serve.  Faced with being thrown in a fiery furnace and being burned alive and they still did not waiver.  It makes me think of the Columbine school shooting where one of the killers walked up to a young girl, pointed a gun at her head and asked her if she believed in God.  She answered yes, and he shot and killed her. 

Just think about being in a life or death situation like that for a moment.  Would you be bold enough to stand up for Jesus and answer yes...without a doubt you believe and trust in him?

So, anyway the king told them to heat the fire seven times hotter than it already was.  He commanded the most mighty men in his army to bind the three Hebrew boys up and throw them in the fire.  Because of it being hotter than normal, the army men were instantly killed by the flame of the fire as they got close.  Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego fell into the fire.  Immediately the king jumped up and called out to some other men standing around and said "Hey, didn't we just throw three men into the fire?"  They answered him and agreed that three men were thrown in.  Well I'm sure the king must have thought he was going crazy or maybe he was just delirious from the heat because he could see not one......not two......not even three......but FOUR men loose and walking around in the fire with not a care in the world it seemed.  He proclaimed that the fourth man looked like the Son of God!!!!!!!  The king went over to the edge and called the boys to come out and when they did not one single hair was even singed.  Their clothes didn't even smell like smoke. 

Now here's where it starts really getting good!  Remember they had told the king that the God they served was ABLE to deliver them from the fire.  Then they went one step further and said that God WILL deliver them from out of the hand of the king one way or another.  But they knew that even if God chose not to physically save them from the fire and they were instead burned up, they would spend eternity in heaven with the Lord and would still be free from the king.  They knew that God would show up in someway to help them, and he sure did!!!

He didn't just sit up in heaven and wave his hand and put out the fire for them. 
He didn't tell them it was going to be ok and to just stick it out.


That is exactly what God does for you and me too.  He doesn't just sit and watch us struggle from a distance and wave a magic wand to make things better.  He is right here with us.  He will not leave you to fumble through your trials alone.  He may not always answer a prayer the way you think it should be done.  But no matter how God sees fit to handle the situation, he is still right there with you. 

Sometimes he will deliver you out of whatever it is that is happening just like he did with the Hebrew boys. 

Sometimes he will allow things to happen to you that are really awful like he did with Job. 

But he will always be right there with you to provide strength, comfort, peace, help, and love no matter what the circumstance.

What's the point of all this rambling you ask?

It is simply this:  The God we serve today, is the very same God that Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego served all those years ago.  He's the same one that was standing in the fiery furnace with them.  He's the same one that kept the lion's from eating Daniel in the lion's den.  He's the same one that literally parted the Red Sea for Moses.  He's the same one that allowed Jonah to survive being swallowed and live in the belly of a whale before being spit out.  He's the same one that healed sick people, cleansed the lepers, opened blinded eyes, and raised the dead. 

God is the same God yesterday, today, and for all eternity.  If he could perform miracles like these that seem almost unbelievable back then, why do we not have enough faith that he can help us with our problems today?  Surely he can help with our financial struggles, our marital issues, or our broken cars and dishwashers.  We just need to remember that not only is our God ABLE, but that he WILL deliver his children like he said he would!

Thursday, October 29, 2009

He's mine, back off.

The title of this post comes off a little strong I'm sure, but sometimes it's just what I really want to say to people that are trying to tell me how to raise my son.  I am always open to friendly advice or the "this is what worked for me" type of statement.  But I carried him for 40 weeks and 2 days and then gave birth to him myself, so I fully reserve the right to turn down any advice or simply say thanks but no thanks and proceed to do what I feel is best for him.  Let me explain a few of the bigger points I'm talking about specifically.

We don't "do" Halloween.  We don't dress up.  We don't go trick or treating.  We don't even go to the trunk-or-treat at our own church.  We don't decorate with ghosts and witches or buy spider rings and gummy eyeballs.  In fact, we turn all the outside lights off and keep the doors shut on Halloween night because we don't give out candy either.  Nothing.  We try to completely act like the day doesn't exist because we don't want to have anything to do with it.  My husband and I have agreed from the very first discussion on the topic (there's not a whole bunch of things that we can say that about either!) that Halloween in not of God, in fact it is satanistic.  We feel like everything surrounding the day is dark and evil and we think if we acknowledge it in any way, we may as well be right in the middle of it. 

I'm NOT saying that the simple act of dressing up in a cute or friendly costume is wrong.
I'm NOT saying that giving or eating candy is wrong (I love me some chocolate!!)
I'm NOT saying that everyone that participates in Halloween events are heathens or sinners.
I certainly don't think that my church has anything other than good and pure intentions about having a trunk-or-treat, and I feel completely safe in kids receiving candy and treats from them.  There are christians everywhere that like to dress their kids up and go to safe places and have good clean fun.  I don't believe they are performing satanistic rituals and calling on the spirits and putting curses on people.   

What I AM saying is that we have made the decision for OUR family not to participate.  I will not condemn or belittle anyone for making a different choice for their own family.  In fact, I may even comment on what a cute pumpkin or puppy dog your little baby is in his/her costume.  I will accept a bag of candy from someone I know and trust if they have put an effort into making one for my son.  I am not trying to be disrespectful, but I don't appreciate being attacked for trying to do what's right for my family. 

Another thing I get a lot of slack over is Christmas and Santa Claus.  I refuse to teach my children to believe in Santa. 
Why, you ask???
It's so simple.  It's a no-brainer common sense answer.  (Now don't read this next part out loud in front of kids)

HE'S NOT REAL............

Along with the Easter Bunny and the tooth fairy.  Stay with me now, I haven't completely lost my mind.  My thought is if something is not true or real, then it is a lie.  If  I physically look up to the sky (and I'm not colorblind) and say "Look, the sky is green", it is obviously not true.  Therefore I knowingly told you something on purpose that is not true.  It is a lie.  Why would I willingly and knowingly lie to my children?  Your parents are should be the two people on this earth that you can trust no matter what.  They should be the ones you can go to for any reason and trust what they are telling you is what they believe to be true and right.  Parents are not always right, but they shouldn't steer you wrong on purpose.  So what is the difference in me teaching my child to believe in a fictional person that does not exist and does magical things that are not possible?  If you lie to them about one thing, what makes them think you won't lie about other things? 

We, as christians, tell our children about God and Jesus.  We tell them if they believe in Jesus with all their heart and trust in him that they can be saved and they will go to heaven for all eternity.  We cannot physically see Jesus.  We can't reach out and touch him on the hand.  We have no proof in the eyes of the world that he is real.  So why do we believe in him with everything inside of us and trust him completely with our lives?  Because at one point in time someone we trusted (like our own parents or a preacher) told us that he was alive and very real and that he could save us and he could help us with our troubles and cares.  They told us if we would believe in him with all our hearts that he would come into our heart and dwell with us forever.  And we believed them, and in turn believed in Him with a childlike faith that he indeed is real.  Even though we have no "proof" except what we feel inside and a book (the God inspired Holy Bible) that tells us great things and what we might have learned from our parents, we still believe.  (And that is enough for me, I KNOW God is real and that he saved my soul). 

I feel it's the same concept with Santa.  But, sometimes we can see Santa at the mall or at a store.  Kids think they can sit on his lap or send him a letter.  They get physical presents that they can hold in their hands and they believe it's from him.  They have been told by people they trust that Santa is a real human being that can actually visit every single house on the entire planet in one single night and reindeer can fly.  It's hard to believe this could be possible, but when you tell a child something, they don't know not to believe what you are saying.  Then, one day, when they reach whatever age you have determined is appropriate, you sit them down and tell them you have something important to tell them.  You tell them he's not real.  You tell them what they knew to be true, it in fact, not.  It may sound dramatic and harsh and you may think I've made to much out of it, but it is what it is. 

I am not taking away his childhood.  He doesn't get any less presents.  In fact, if he thinks it's fun to pretend there is a Santa, that is totally fine.  As long as does not truly believe he is real.

That being said, I do not go around shouting from the rooftops to all the little children that Santa is not real.  I am also trying to teach Caden not to blow it for all the other kids around either.  I'm not trying to raise your kids.  Again, that's your decision to make.  But please don't tell me how awful I am that we don't participate in this.  I don't think all the children who are taught to believe in Santa are destroyed for life once they find out the truth (although I for one was DEVASTATED!)  I don't believe that it will ruin a child's relationship with their parents and cause them to never trust another word out of there lying mouths either.  I simply believe it's wrong to lie about anything, and I try my best not to do it. 

These are choices that I get to make as a parent just like you get to decide what's best for your family.  I do not judge anyone for choosing a different way.  It doesn't say anywhere (that I'm aware of) in the Bible that it
is a sin to teach your children about Santa or to let them dress up for Halloween.  I don't think christians will be un-saved for participating in these things.  I think God convicts his children and compels them to know what is right or wrong for them.  Some sins are across the board just plain wrong.  But some things may not be a sin at all, they are just wrong for some people.  (Like there is nothing wrong with watching football, but if you let it become an obsession that comes between you and God, it may become a sin for you)  I know that God has told me and my husband separately the way he wants us to handle this and that is all we are trying to do. 

So, thank you to all of my friends and family and co-workers who understand what I'm trying to do and though you may not necessarily feel the same way about it, you don't attack me for it either.  I love my children with every fiber of my being and would never do anything that I didn't truly believe was best for them.  I pray that I will always be open and listening to the still small voice that comes from God himself to lead me and my family in the way of his perfect will.  Thank you Lord for my family.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

It's a........




That's right!!! We are having another boy!!!!  And we are all so excited!!!!!!!

I told you about the party we had planned, and everything turned out great!  My dad couldn't be there (sad face) because he has been really sick and his Dr advised him not to be around me since I am in a "delicate low immunity kind of way".  Scottie's brother also didn't make it because he's sick too (and his wife is almost 12 weeks pregnant so she was probably tired!) But we had them both on speaker phone as we cut the cake so it was the next best thing to being there.  We all gathered around the kitchen bar and Scottie and I held the knife so we could cut it together.  I was holding Caden in a chair beside us so he could "help".  It was the sweetest moment when we cut the cake and everyone was holding their breath trying to get a peek inside. 

Then all of a sudden Caden shouted "It's BLUE!!!! It's BLUE!!!!  It's a BOY!!!!!!!!!". 

Everyone was yelling and hugging and I went to get the pictures I still had sealed up in the envelope and let me tell ya, he's not shy, and there's no question.  He is definately a boy!!

I picked up the knife again and started cutting into a different part of the cake because I was trying to get a good picture of the blue icing.  I was trying to slide the cake apart or something to get a better angle, but everyone kept laughing at me saying I was trying to find some pink icing in there.  Can't a girl just get a good picture?  Sheesh!

Anyway, after we all passed the pictures around, we went in the living room to watch the DVD of the ultrasound.  He was moving all over the place!!  The sonographer even asked me at one point if I gave that baby some sugar before we came!  I did.  I had about 5 good sips of MtDew before we went in!  I did ask why I don't feel this one move as much or as strong as I had felt Caden.  I know every pregnancy is different, but there really is a good reason for this one.  Last time, the placenta was on the back side of my uterus so there wasn't much between the outside of my belly and Caden on the inside.  This time the placenta is on the front side so it's kind of like a cushion between my belly and the baby.  It sort of absorbs most of the kicks right now.  It did make me feel better to know this.  It's just so amazing to see a little baby moving all over the place on a computer screen, and know that it's inside of you. 
Well, I'm having difficulties getting the pictures I want to upload, so I'll just start a new post full of pics!!!

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

20 Weeks!!!

Well, I made it to the halfway point!!!  It's really cool and really scary at the same time.  I'm so glad we know what it is now, but that means it's time to get started on the nursery and buying other baby gear.  But that's the fun part too. 

So here's a little preggy update.

*So far I've only gained 3lb from my pre-pregnancy weight, but I lost almost 2lb in the first trimester, so I've gained 5lb back. (That made perfect sense, right?)

*Progesterone poisoning Morning sickness is gone, and has actually been gone for a while!!!!

*Still tired, but not the so-tired-I-can-barely-lift-my-fork-to-eat kind anymore. 

*I look a lot bigger at this point than I did with Caden at 20 weeks

*Still not feeling the baby move from the outside yet, but at least we know why now. (See this post)

*Having Braxton Hicks contraction every once in a while.  Not sure if that's good or bad or normal.

*No swelling, headaches, cramping, or any of that other bad stuff.  And no dark line down the middle of my belly!!!!!

*Blood pressure was 103/80 (Has been around 92/58)

*Baby's heartrate was 144

*I'm ALWAYS hungry, but I get full really fast and can't eat as much as I want to cram.

Well, that's about it.  I promise I'll tell you what it is soon!!

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Is it a boy or a girl??????


Thought I was going to tell you didn't you????

Well, I would, but I don't even know yet!

We did go this morning at 8:00am (too early to be awake much less sitting at a dr's office, in my opinion) to have our anatomy scan.  We just have a little twist in the story.  We told the scan tech that we absolutely want to know what this baby is, just not quite yet.  So we asked her to let us know before she started scanning "down there" so we could turn our heads.  We also asked her to put the gender picture in a separate envelope which we sealed up right away.  Why all the madness?????

We are going to have a "Gender Reveal Party" tonight at our house!!!!!!!  It's the coolest idea! (I kind of stole borrowed it from another blog!)  Anyway, I ordered a double layer cake from our local bakery (the best bakery in the world), and my friend that works at my dr's office called them this morning with the results. They are going to put either a pink or blue layer of icing in the middle!!! The outside will be decorated with pink and blue and white and it will say "Boy or Girl?" on the top!!!!  So tonight when we cut into the cake, we will find out the long-awaited answer to the question!!!!  Of course a lot of our family and several friends will be there too!  We will also watch the DVD of the ultrasound so everyone can see the baby too since no one came to the appointment.  We had originally planned to have my mom, my granny, my dad or stepmom, and my mother-in-law in there with us.  The party thing was a last minute decision last weekend. This is so exciting, but it has been such a long day so far and 6:30 seems like a far way off.  But I can make it.  I've made it this far, surely I can go another 7 hours. 

I will try really hard to get back on here soon with pictures and I will definately at least post the answer tonight or in the morning.

Boy or GirlGirl or BoyBoy or GirlGirl or Boy?

Friday, October 9, 2009

18 weeks

I am so bad at this blogging thing.  Shame on me.  I know you are all just sitting on the edge waiting everyday for a new post, all 7 of you! (hahaha)  Well, truth is I just don't have a whole lot of exciting or interesting things that happen in my little life.  But here's some of the normal things going on.

*I will add a picture when I get to my computer*

I am 18 1/2 weeks along now, which by the way is almost halfway to the finish line.  I can't even tell you all the ways that this scares the fool out of me.  I have been anxiously awaiting October 15th for a long time because that is the day that we find out whether Baby Speer is a boy or girl.  The countdown is on and it's only 6 days away now.  I've been so excited to find out what it is that I have been kind of wishing the days away.  But somewhere amongst all this flurry of excitement I realized that once that day comes, I will be halfway through and now I just want time to slow down a little.  I don't really know why I'm so scared.  I mean I have done this before.  But something about have 2 really makes me nervous.  Not to mention all the other preparations that need to be taken care of like, um, the nursery.  But I'm also very excited too.  A mix of emotions, imagine that. 

I have some more half annoying, half could-be-good news too.  This baby is so not moving like Caden did.  I felt Caden moving at 14 weeks and Scottie could see him kick from the outside at 18 weeks.  I felt this little one move at 10 weeks, but it never has really started kicking yet.  Just little fluttering, spastic feeling stuff.  Now this worries me a little because I can only compare to the last time, but I know every pregnancy is different.  I think maybe it might be because I have an extra 15 lbs going into this pregnancy that I did not have last time, so obviously there is more cushioning.  (I was puny last time I got pregnant, always have been)  Then I thought, well maybe this means it's a girl and she will be sweet and laid back since she's so calm now.  Once Caden started moving in the womb, he never stopped.  I mean he's 3 1/2 yrs old and still hasn't stopped moving!  Of course Scottie had to throw his opinion out there and he said "This definately means its a girl, she's already lazy!" WHAT?  Women are most definately not lazy.  We may be picky about what we do, but we're not lazy! 
So anyway, I was sitting on the couch last night watching my stomach for any signs of movement and I saw three little twitchy jumps in one spot!  Maybe the kicking is coming soon!  (I 'm sure I'll regret wishing for this when I have a foot permantly lodged in my ribcage!)

I have been having these "episodes" where my heart starts racing and I get really short of breath and weak.  I asked the Dr about it a few weeks ago and they said it was normal, but last Thursday it hit me hard when I got to work.  I had just driven to work and when I got out of the car it was like a wave crashed on me.  I just sat down on the sidewalk and called inside and told them I needed a minute to catch my breath.  I called the Dr and they brought me in later as a precaution.  They said once again, it's normal.  All the baby stuff is pushing up on my diaghram and lungs causing me not to inhale as much oxygen as I normally would, thus reducing the amount of C02 in my system.  Basically, it's kinda like I'm hyperventalating and he actually told me to breathe into a paper bag when it happens.  Great.....just one more thing to shove in my purse!

I should try to start posting about the pregnancy on Sundays so I can keep a better record of what's going on.  We'll see if I can get that going. (Ha)

Later peeps!

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Randomness (and Caden)

As for #5, it was in the refrigerator. No I'm not kidding, but I may be a little crazy. I guess I grabbed the bag the nest was in as I grabbed the bag our to go food was in and walked in the front door and crammed it all in the fridge. We'll blame this one on a loss of brain cells due to pregnancy!

After the worlds longest post EVAH, I just have a few random thoughts to throw out.

1. I recently had to cut my baby's precious long hair in accordance with the "dress code" at his new preschool. It was a devastating event for all involved and to be completely honest, I'm still not totally over it yet. Well, my mom picks my son up from daycare almost every day and she told me the other day that she saw another little boy on the playground with the exact same hair that Caden used to have. Yes, his long beautiful hair was blowing in the wind as he ran and played. (That sounded like a little girl, huh.) Anyway, I'm slightly agitated that I was made to cut my child's hair and here he was with his long hair.

2. Baby Speer either really likes or dislikes when I sneeze, because every time I do it, she/he moves wildly around. It's one of the few times I get to feel it, because little one is still very...well...little. Oh, and the other night I was sitting on the couch with the worst earache ever, and I felt a sneeze coming on. I knew it would really hurt my ear, but I wanted to feel that little flutter so I just let her go. Pain shot all over my head of course, and that little stinker didn't budge at all. I will say that since my ear feels better, I kind of want to sniff the pepper shaker every once in a while.

3. Caden has been learning alot about God and Jesus at his new school and it's really starting to show. They have recently covered how God made everything so Caden has been asking me about everything from his toys to the seashells. We were at the beach a couple of weeks ago, (I need to do a post about that too, man I'm behind) and he asked me if God made the golf cart we were riding in. It's too cute!

4. On the same beach trip, we were walking out on the beach one day with his great grandmother (granny) and a horrible smell wafted under our noses. It was so bad, Caden even said "Eeewwww, I smell poop!" I said "Well, whatever it is, it really does stink". He was quiet for a minute and then he said "you know, God made poop. But he didn't mean to!"

5. Today was show-and-tell day for Caden, and since last week he had planned on taking a bird nest he and his granny had found in a bush. He has really been excited about it. That nest has been in a bag in my car for a whole week, and this morning, it was GONE. I remember seeing it just yesterday evening, but this morning, it has disappeared. I searched my car and the house in a frantic fit, to no avail. Vanished. So, when I told Caden I was so sorry but I could not find the nest anywhere, he said "It's ok mommy. I know what happened. A bird got the keys from my school and came and unlocked your car and took her nest out and locked it back up and flew away." I said "oh really". He said "yeah, I really think so".

6. This seems to have turned into a post mainly about Caden. Maybe I should rename it.

7. I have a thing about the texture of foods. I'm a picky eater anyway, but I really can't stand the texture of some foods. Like gummy stuff for instance. I have never like gummy worms, bears, nothing. I like to suck the flavor out but then I have to spit all that gooey mess out. Well, I'm not going to tell you how many gummy worms, gummy bears, and peach gummy rings I have eaten in the last few weeks.

8. I am so craving a tuna casserole right now! Ooh, and one of those yummy veggie pizzas my friend Jenny makes!

9. My anatomy ultrasound is scheduled for 4 weeks from today, so we will find out whether I can start saying "she" or "he" instead of "it"!

10. I just think this list should go to #10. It feels incomplete if you stop at #9. Maybe that's my slight OCD coming out.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

New Mercies

I wanted to share some of the message we heard in church Sunday morning. It really captivated me and kept my full attention the entire time as the preacher painted a picture of such great sorrow and sadness that turned into a wonderful message of hope. The scripture was out of Lamentations and it talked about Jeremiah after he had been preaching for many years warning the people that God was going to send his judgement on them and everyone thought he was crazy. He was simply following the Lord's instructions and things didn't go quite like he had thought they would.

Here Jeremiah, a servant of the Lord, was doing exactly what he was told to do, but he certainly did not feel like he was in the Lord's favor. First I want you to read the scripture below. I know it's a little long, but bare with me. If you read his exact words, you can really see the pain and darkness he felt.

1I AM the man that hath seen affliction by the rod of his wrath.

2He hath led me, and brought me into darkness, but not into light.

3Surely against me is he turned; he turneth his hand against me all the day.

4My flesh and my skin hath he made old; he hath broken my bones.

5He hath builded against me, and compassed me with gall and travail.

6He hath set me in dark places, as they that be dead of old.

7He hath hedged me about, that I cannot get out: he hath made my chain heavy.

8Also when I cry and shout, he shutteth out my prayer.

9He hath inclosed my ways with hewn stone, he hath made my paths crooked.

10He was unto me as a bear lying in wait, and as a lion in secret places.

11He hath turned aside my ways, and pulled me in pieces: he hath made me desolate.

12He hath bent his bow, and set me as a mark for the arrow.

13He hath caused the arrows of his quiver to enter into my reins.

14I was a derision to all my people; and their song all the day.

15He hath filled me with bitterness, he hath made me drunken with wormwood.

16He hath also broken my teeth with gravel stones, he hath covered me with ashes.

17And thou hast removed my soul far off from peace: I forgat prosperity.

18And I said, My strength and my hope is perished from the LORD:

19Remembering mine affliction and my misery, the wormwood and the gall.

He says God has brought him out of the light and into darkness. God has broken his bones, has broken his teeth with gravel stones, has covered him with ashes. He has turned his hand against Jeremiah and shut out his prayers and screams for help. He says he feels like God has a bullseye right on him and has his arrow set to strike him at any time. He said "my strength and my hope is perished from the LORD".

This is a really dark and desolate place to be. I have been there before even in my christianity. Sometimes you just feel like God has either forgotten you exist, or has it out for you. It feels like all of heaven is brass and when you pray it just hits the sky and falls right back down to earth. You try and try to do the right thing, the "christian" thing and still the bad things keep coming. There is ALWAYS someone sick or dying, the car might break down, you probably need a new washer or dryer or worse, both. You've lost your job, got behind on bills, your marriage is suffering. You name it, it happens at one point or another and no, christians are not immune to it. You wonder why you even try at times and think it would just be easier to give up.

Then, as you sit in your pity party of despair and gloom, you remember (God reminds you) something way back in your mind.

For I am the Lord, I change not; therefore ye sons of Jacob are not consumed.

Malachi 3:6 (KJV)

God is still the same God today that he was in the very beginning, and he will be the same throughout the rest of eternity.
This simply means that he said he would never leave nor forsake us, and my friend, NEVER MEANS NEVER. He is and will always be there for his children no matter what you may think or feel. He cannot tell a lie, and in the Bible it states these very facts.

*Deuteronomy 4:31 (For the LORD thy God is a merciful God;) he will not forsake thee, neither destroy thee, nor forget the covenant of thy fathers which he sware unto them.

*I Samuel 12:22 For the LORD will not forsake his people for his great name's sake: because it hath pleased the LORD to make you his people.
*Deuteronomy 31:8 And the LORD, he it is that doth go before thee; he will be with thee, he will not fail thee, neither FORSAKE thee: fear not, neither be dismayed.
*Nehemiah 9:31 Nevertheless for thy great mercies' sake thou didst not utterly consume them, nor FORSAKE them; for thou art a gracious and merciful God.
*Hebrews 13:5 Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor FORSAKE thee.

These are just a few of the places where God promises to be with us always. That is a hard concept to grasp sometimes though because we can never live up to that promise. We can try our best to always be there for our children to keep them safe and out of harms way. But it is physically impossible to be there a full 100% of the time for their entire lives. They will have to be on their own at times. Even as young as 3 years old, my son has to go through his day at preschool without me physically being there. But what a thought to know that when I'm not with him, God is.


All the time.

Awake or asleep.

He has a constant watchful eye on us 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. That doesn't mean bad things won't happen, but it does mean that he will be there to provide comfort and peace that can only come from him, if you will allow him to. Now I want you to read the scripture that immediately followed Jeremiah's proclamation that God had turned his back on him.

20My soul hath them still in remembrance, and is humbled in me.

21This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope.

22It is of the LORD's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.

23They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.

24The LORD is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him.

25The LORD is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him.

26It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the LORD.

Lamentations 3:1-26 (KJV)

Isn't it just a beautiful and glorious thought that there is a promise of hope in any circumstance you face. I hope you were able to see past all the awful things in your life for just a moment and reflect on the goodness of God. If you wake up expecting clouds everyday, that's all you will be able to see. But if you arise in the morning looking for new mercies from a gracious God, you will see the Son's rays brilliantly shining through all those dark clouds. This is from a previous post (http://speerfamilyblog.blogspot.com/2009/07/certain-aura-of-gods-splendor.html) I did on clouds, but I love what it says.

The so called "clouds" in my life can cast me in a certain aura of God's splendor.

(ps. If anyone will tell me how to make the words highlight so you can click on them to go to a previous post instead of pasting the entire URL in here, I would so appreciate it!)

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Baby Speer at 9 weeks

Wow, this post is a little late. OK, it's A LOT late. But here it is anyway! This was the ultrasound from 9 weeks, which was about 6 weeks ago. Last time I had an ultrasound at 5 weeks and the yolk sac was still bigger than the baby. It was literally kind of a blob looking thing. This time it was so cool to get to see the baby actually looking like a tiny little baby. It was just moving all around kicking it's short little arms and legs. Absolutely precious.

Well, I just wanted you to see the proof. Somehow it all seems a bit more real after you see the baby and hear the little heartbeat.

New preschool, let the crying begin.

So I told you all about the big boy haircut for the new preschool. Well, he started at the new preschool last Thursday, and of course he has cried everyday since. Now you all know that he had a problem with this at the old daycare. We finally got a handle on it, and he switched schools.

So, we are back to crying. He cries, I cry, the people looking at me in the halls get a little teary eyed. It's quite the spectacle. He is just so pitiful. This is our conversation every morning on the way to his new school.

Caden: "Mommy, am I going to school today?"

Me: "Yes you are"

Caden: "My new school?"

Me: "Yes baby"

Caden: (crying is beginning) "But I want to go to my old school. I don't want to go to my new school. (crying harder now) Please don't take me to that new school"

Me: (heart broken) "But you will have so much fun at your new school. Your teacher is so nice, and your friends from church go there. It will be great"

Caden: (continues to beg me not to take him to this place) "But I will not have fun, I promise I will not have fun today."

And you get the picture. They literally have to pry his hands off of my neck, and his little face is soaking wet with tears. It just tears me up to have to leave him somewhere ALL day EVERY day. I don't want someone else to raise my children. I want to do it. God gave them to me and I want to be there for them. I think it's just awful that once he starts kindergarten, that's it. He'll be in school every day for 13 years with homework every night. Then, it's off to college (hopefully). Then, it's off to the real world with jobs and marriage and kids and my baby is a grown man.

He's 3 years old. That only leaves me about 2 years until his journey to adulthood really begins. Then, there's this new baby. I don't want to leave this child while I work 40 hours a week + 5 hours worth of lunch time + about 7.5 hours of driving time. That's over 50 hours away from my new baby. It just makes me sick to think about it. It would just be perfect if I could stay at home with the kids until they start school. I really don't have anything against working, and I actually like my job for once. But, I feel like I should be at home with my babies. I feel like God would be pleased with it, but he's gonna have to work out our financial situation because cutting out my income will put a dent in it. I know he can, I just have a hard time letting control of things go and turning it completely over to him. I really like to be in control, or at least feel like I'm in control.

But this whole thing is really stressing me out. So, please help me pray about finding and really listening to God's will about this.

(Man, 2 posts in one day! I'm on a roll! And it helps that blogger somehow came up at work today. I'm still working too, just blogging in between members!)

Monday, August 24, 2009

The BIG Haircut

For years now, my baby's hair was long and beautiful. Yes, I realize we're talking about a boy, but seriously, look at it. He was my little baby, with his beautiful baby hair. It kinda looked like a mullet at his first birthday, but once we had it barely trimmed, it started growing and growing. It was not the classic bowl cut as it was not shaved in the back. It was just a long round haircut that made him look like my precious little baby boy. Everyone loved his hair. (At least they told me they did) Once I talked dear hubby into letting it grow out, he even loved it.

Then came preschool.

I went to enroll him in a respected christian preschool in our area and loved the place. It had everything I was looking for (pretty much) in a preschool. He had been in daycare, but I wanted more of a learning environment for him. As I was looking through some of the handbook for this new place, I came across the dresscode section. I thought, no problem. I don't dress him like a hoodlum (southern word) anyways. Then I read this little sentence that forever changed my life. (ok that's a bit dramatic I admit, but it was not a great moment.)

Hair should be neatly trimmed at all times. It must be above the ears, not fallinginto the eyebrows and not hanging on the collar.

He failed all three points. It was just at his eyebrows, but definately covering his ears and hanging on his collar depending on the shirt.

OMG..... We have to cut his hair.

I do hope I'm not the only lunatic mother who nearly goes into histerics when she has her childs hair cut. But if I am, oh well. Because that is exactly what happened.

We went to a lovely woman from my church who Caden absolutely adores. Everyone calls her "granny". I thought maybe he would do better with someone he knows and likes.


When we got inside the door of her basement hair salon, the crying ensued. I gave him to his daddy and I exited stage left. I could hear the screams of pure horror from the front yard. It was all I could do not to go in there and rescue my baby from this torture session. I mean how awful would it be to be forever traumatized by a haircut? Ok, dramatic again. Well, it doesn't help that I'm pregnant during this process. Hormones are crazy already. So, I sat outside in my car and squalled and bawled and called my mommy and totally freaked her out too. She thought someone had surely died by the sound of my voice and actually laughed a little when I asked her if the cried when I got my hair cut. She did tell me that I officially had it really cut for the first time when I was in the 3rd grade. I had little trims here and there, but I had my nearly waist long hair cut off to my shoulders then. She did mention to the beautician that a valium would be good at the moment.

I thought it sounded pretty good myself, but then there's that pregnancy thing.

So, I waited until the door finally opened and I was motioned in by a smiling face. Not Caden's smiling face of course. I walked in the door and saw his head and the gushing started again. It was not at all what I was expecting. It wasn't very pretty either. It looked like it had been chopped. I did take pictures but I promptly deleted them as I did not want evidence of what had happened. Now in her defense, I can only imagine how hard it must be to cut a 3yr olds hair while he is screaming and diving and head banging and all that. I am very glad he still had both ears after the ordeal because I would surely cut one off if it were me. But I cried and cried and cried some more. Scottie was like "why don't you ask her to fix it, she'll do what you want her do?".

Uh.....seriously? Are you kidding me? You want me to let her put scissors to what hair he has left and try again?

Let me thi....NO. NO NO NO NO NO

She actually didn't charge us for it, although I have never told her how unhappy I was. I don't know if she thought I was crying just because he had it cut or if she knew that I knew it was that bad. Either way, I called my hair place as soon as we got in the car and pleaded with them to fit us in that day. The poor lady on the phone said, "Is this an emergency?". I said "OH YES, definately an emergency!" So, they fit us in within a couple of hours. I told Caden we were getting his hair cut again and I wanted him to be a good boy. I told him if he would promise me not to cry, I would let him sit in my lap. He actually sat still the whole time and didn't cry at all. She evened it up as best she could, and I was very pleased with the outcome. It was not originally what I wanted, but it was a cute little boy haircut.

That's right, little boy haircut, not little baby haircut.

So, after all that, here he is.

I know, he's the cutest thing I've ever seen too!! He loves it. He told everyone he had a big boy haircut now. It is much easier to wash now too. But, I still miss his long hair.
Wonder what the new baby's hair will look like? It will probably be bald due to all the hair stress we've been through during the pregnancy. I'll love it hairy or bald though.
(I really hate to call it "it", so let's come up with a new name for "it". Not peanut, too common. Let me know what you think)
Until next time.......

10 Weeks and Counting!

(If you go by the date of this post, I'm really 12 weeks pregnant.)

In this picture, I'm about 10 weeks pregnant. I know they tell you (whoever "they" are) that you start to show earlier the 2nd time around, but are you kidding me? I was about 5-6 mths pregnant the last time I was this big. It can't be a good thing to be this big this early. I mean, if I look like this now, what will I look like at 5-6 mths this time?

Oh Lord, moving on.

I am very glad to report that the progesterone poisoning, uh hum, morning sickness has subsided A LOT. Yay! I'm not nauseous very much at all, but now everything just tastes funny. I can't ever decide what to eat because nothing tastes really good. And thats a shame cause I love to eat!

I have been a whole lot more tired this time. I mean, I fight to keep my eyes open at work everyday. I just want to crash when I get home, but that's impossible with a 3 yr old at home. I sure hope that good energy comes back in the 2nd trimester. We'll see.

I did have an ultrasound done on August 3rd. I had just turned 9 weeks. It is so cute!! It actually looks like a baby! Duh, of course it's a baby, but I just didn't realize they had little arms and legs and no tail at 9 weeks. I was kind of expecting it to still look kinda blobbish. But it was so cute!!! I'll have to figure out how to get the pic on here. We have a scanner, but it hasn't been set up for 9 mths or so.
Anyway, according to the measurements during the scan, I actually measured a tiny bit smaller than 9 weeks, which would have put my due date at March 10th. But, they said any time it's within 5-7 days of the already estimated due date, they won't change it. So, my official due date is March 7th. I was just a little bummed about that though because my granny's birthday is March 11th and I think it would be the coolest thing for this baby to share her birthday. She is very special to me and I just think it would be neat. So, right now I'm kind of hoping to go 4 days late, but I think if you ask me again in February, I might have changed my mind.

Everyone thinks I'm crazy, but I know I have felt the baby move a few times too. I felt Caden move for the first time at 14 weeks, and we could see him kicking from the outside by 16 weeks. And you know they say ("they" again) you can feel the 2nd one move earlier than the first one because you know what you're feeling this time. It caught me off gaurd at first, but after I felt it a couple of times, I knew that's what it was. It doesn't happen everyday, and I have to be super still. But it's the coolest thing to feel a little baby move inside. That, to me, is the best part of pregnancy. (Until you get a foot in the ribcage of course!)

Not much else going on with the pregnancy so far though. Oh, I do have the appointment scheduled for the big ultrasound. We find out what it is on October 15th!! (It's a baby, duh! That's what Caden says when people ask if we know or want to know what it is!) I can hardly wait! I'm so impatient. I even used to unwrap my Christmas gifts, very carefully, and after I got a peek, I would wrap it back up so no one would know. My granny was so mad when she found out, she started putting my gifts in bags and stapling the top shut all the way across!

I digress. So, that's all about that. I will tell you all about a bad haircutting experience next time.


No, I didn't die. I'm still here.

I can't believe it has been this long since I have blogged. The first part was just out of laziness, I'll admit it. But the past 3 weeks it's been because Facebook ate my computer. I'm not kidding. There was/is some kind of virus going around on facebook and it has attacked several peoples computers.

But I'm back!

I'm going to work on some posts with some actual substance now.
It would help if they hadn't blocked blogger on my work computers too.


Monday, July 20, 2009


Well, I was trying this "positive thinking" thing with this pregnancy. Last time I had morning sickness, scratch that, I had progesterone poisoning ALL DAY EVERY DAY until I was 13 weeks. I couldn't eat anything except canteloupe and grapes. I would take off running to the bathroom thinking I might actually feel better if I could just puke. (Sorry for the mental picture, I tried to think of a nice way to say throw up, heave, blow chunks, but honestly, there is no nice way to say that.) Anyway, I never could puke. I even tried to tickle that hangy thing in the back of my throat, to no avail. Talk about misery. So, this time I decided I did not want to be sick again and I thought if I could think it enough, I could "will" it to happen.

It didn't work.

It started creeping in last Sunday but I tried to supress it for a couple of days. Then it hit full force on Wednesday. I couldn't think of any kind of food without gagging a little. After a failed attempt at eating lunch, a co-worker suggested a spoon full of peanut butter. It actually did help for a while. So that night I put my peanut butter and a spoon on my night stand. Thursday morning I woke up and tried it again, and it seemed to help. But as I was getting ready to leave, I kept thinking about something else. I just really wanted something else. Wanna know what it was? Of course you do!

I like pickles normally, but not so much for breakfast. I can even say that this is a little strange. I think my hubby and my co-workers got a little chuckle out of this one.
Glad I could provide a laugh.
Anyway, I never liked tomatoes until I was pregnant the first time. My granny offered me a bite of her tomato sandwich one day and I was like "Are you kidding me? That's disgusting." Then, about 2 weeks later, she was eating another one and I started salivating. I said "Hey granny, can I have a bite?" And thus started my love affair with all things tomato. I ate at least 50 tomato sandwiches, spaghetti, pizza, tomatoes on my salads.... It's just as good this time around too. LOVE spaghetti!
The first time around I also NEEDED a cup of coffee every day. I thought I might die if I did not get my one cup of coffee every morning. This go round, I could die if I SMELL the coffee in the morning. Really don't want any at all. Excuse me while I gag just thinking about it.
Ok, I'm back. I just wanted to document some of the craziness this time. I wish I had a blog when I was pregnant with Caden. I know I have forgotten so much. Babies kill brain cells. Oh yes, they most certainly do. You gotta love em', but you will never be as smart after you have babies. Don't know what it is, but it happens.
Well, it's my bedtime. 9:00pm Somehow all of a sudden, 15 hours of sleep doesn't even feel like enough, so I better get to bed early as I can with a 3 year old.
Night Night!

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

A Certain Aura of God's Splendor

Have you ever thought that life just isn't fair?

Why do bad things happen to me all the time?

I just can't catch a break.

Well, maybe you haven't, but I sure have. It seems like some of the worse things happen to me quite often. Just within the past 2-3 weeks I have had a flat tire on the way to work, been in a car accident with my son on the way to work (later that day is when I found out I'm pregnant), had to replace the battery in my car because it wouldn't start, my husband hit his head and was out of work for a week with a severe concussion, and I could honestly keep going. I will admit that sometimes I get in a pity party and think Oh, woe is me. And sometimes I get so mad or frustrated that I just scream a little, (or a lot). Then, there are times when I think it's just my "luck" and I have to laugh it off. But, I came across this story one day while reading a caringbridge page for a little girl that had recently died from a horrible brain tumor. I had read her parents journal entries about how they found out she had this tumor and there was nothing that could be done. I read the ups and downs as they tried to treat her and make her comfortable in her last days, and I read as they said goodbye to their baby that was gone too soon.

My little boy is just as healthy as he can be. I'm in good health, my husband is in pretty good health, we have been given another baby on the way, we both have jobs, we have a nice place to live, we go to what I think is the greatest church in the world, we have good friends, we are close to our families, and most importantly, we are saved by God's wonderful amazing grace and will someday go to spend eternity in heaven. Look at what God has done for me. Now, what was that about a dead car battery?

You see, sometimes you simply have to deal with the "clouds" in life to be able to appreciate the beauty of the SON.

I hope you enjoy this as much as I have.

My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.
James 1:2-4

Have you ever risen early in the morning with one purpose to watch the sun rise?

I especially like to take time for sunrises, so I purposefully chose to rise early each day during my vacation. One morning I found myself sitting on the dock facing east, looking for the sun to rise up over the lake. Another morning I sat on the long veranda of a century-old hotel gazing at the Ohio River, waiting for the golden glow that would announce the sun's arrival. Days later, toward the end of my trip, I wrapped myself in a heavy blanket and curled up in the glider on the front porch of the cabin where I had spent the night. Peering over the Utah landscape, once again I searched the horizon. Soon a bright orange blaze appeared, forcing me to close my eyes because of its brilliance. In a few seconds, with wide-opened eyes, I continued my search for the morning's drama, only to see a half globe sitting on top of the mountains. I kept watching, not wanting to miss the spectacular sight. Then, in another blink of an eye, the sun lifted itself from the peaks, and hung there in the sky - a perfect golden circle. That was it. It went so quick. The sun had come up, creeping into the day, and now it simply dangled a yellow ball in the air, surrounded by blue, looking like a child's simple drawing. For a few minutes I pondered my disenchantment with this particular sunrise.

Is there such a thing as an incomplete, imperfect sunrise?

At that moment I believed there was. I had just experienced it. And, I remembered others like it, somewhat lackluster.

Why had the sunrise not impressed me this day?

Where was all the drama I had expected?

Then I realized there is no drama in a sunrise without clouds.

Clouds - they've been given a bum rap, but all along, these predictors of bad weather, these symbols of negativity, sadness, blues, and gloom really serve to expand light, reflect color, cast dazzling rays, and paint incredible scenes in the sky. A sunrise without clouds is like a life without trials and hardships. I do all I can to avoid challenges and difficulties, but the fact is the so called "clouds" in my life can cast me in a certain aura of God's splendor. A life free of complications and struggles can resemble a bland sunrise … little contrast, seemingly dull artistry, and little context in which I can reflect the Son.

Truth is, the people I respect and admire most are those whose lives have been filled with "clouds" but they walk through any weather with God. These people walk in splendor, surrounded with a certain attractive and hard-to-capture beauty. They are people I seek out on a regular basis. I pursue them because I want to bask in their glow and confidence. They leave me in awe. One thing is sure, I'm never disappointed when I find myself in the company of those who have learned to rise up in the midst of clouds. They don't seek to avoid cloudy days; rather they stand up to walk in dignity, accepting the brilliant contrasts and magical rays God can create despite and through their adversity. It is in their presence I realize, a life free of clouds holds no attraction.

Now I see cloudy days in a positive light. May I never shun them again, for I realize clouds build character, add color, and separate the bland from the brilliant.

Dear Lord, I praise You for the lessons You teach me through nature. Forgive me for choosing to retreat from the clouds You allow to come my way. I know You can use the clouds of adversity in my life to cause me to be more relational and compassionate. I pray the beauty of brokenness will attract others to You. In Jesus' Name, Amen.