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Thursday, October 29, 2009

He's mine, back off.

The title of this post comes off a little strong I'm sure, but sometimes it's just what I really want to say to people that are trying to tell me how to raise my son.  I am always open to friendly advice or the "this is what worked for me" type of statement.  But I carried him for 40 weeks and 2 days and then gave birth to him myself, so I fully reserve the right to turn down any advice or simply say thanks but no thanks and proceed to do what I feel is best for him.  Let me explain a few of the bigger points I'm talking about specifically.

We don't "do" Halloween.  We don't dress up.  We don't go trick or treating.  We don't even go to the trunk-or-treat at our own church.  We don't decorate with ghosts and witches or buy spider rings and gummy eyeballs.  In fact, we turn all the outside lights off and keep the doors shut on Halloween night because we don't give out candy either.  Nothing.  We try to completely act like the day doesn't exist because we don't want to have anything to do with it.  My husband and I have agreed from the very first discussion on the topic (there's not a whole bunch of things that we can say that about either!) that Halloween in not of God, in fact it is satanistic.  We feel like everything surrounding the day is dark and evil and we think if we acknowledge it in any way, we may as well be right in the middle of it. 

I'm NOT saying that the simple act of dressing up in a cute or friendly costume is wrong.
I'm NOT saying that giving or eating candy is wrong (I love me some chocolate!!)
I'm NOT saying that everyone that participates in Halloween events are heathens or sinners.
I certainly don't think that my church has anything other than good and pure intentions about having a trunk-or-treat, and I feel completely safe in kids receiving candy and treats from them.  There are christians everywhere that like to dress their kids up and go to safe places and have good clean fun.  I don't believe they are performing satanistic rituals and calling on the spirits and putting curses on people.   

What I AM saying is that we have made the decision for OUR family not to participate.  I will not condemn or belittle anyone for making a different choice for their own family.  In fact, I may even comment on what a cute pumpkin or puppy dog your little baby is in his/her costume.  I will accept a bag of candy from someone I know and trust if they have put an effort into making one for my son.  I am not trying to be disrespectful, but I don't appreciate being attacked for trying to do what's right for my family. 

Another thing I get a lot of slack over is Christmas and Santa Claus.  I refuse to teach my children to believe in Santa. 
Why, you ask???
It's so simple.  It's a no-brainer common sense answer.  (Now don't read this next part out loud in front of kids)

HE'S NOT REAL............

Along with the Easter Bunny and the tooth fairy.  Stay with me now, I haven't completely lost my mind.  My thought is if something is not true or real, then it is a lie.  If  I physically look up to the sky (and I'm not colorblind) and say "Look, the sky is green", it is obviously not true.  Therefore I knowingly told you something on purpose that is not true.  It is a lie.  Why would I willingly and knowingly lie to my children?  Your parents are should be the two people on this earth that you can trust no matter what.  They should be the ones you can go to for any reason and trust what they are telling you is what they believe to be true and right.  Parents are not always right, but they shouldn't steer you wrong on purpose.  So what is the difference in me teaching my child to believe in a fictional person that does not exist and does magical things that are not possible?  If you lie to them about one thing, what makes them think you won't lie about other things? 

We, as christians, tell our children about God and Jesus.  We tell them if they believe in Jesus with all their heart and trust in him that they can be saved and they will go to heaven for all eternity.  We cannot physically see Jesus.  We can't reach out and touch him on the hand.  We have no proof in the eyes of the world that he is real.  So why do we believe in him with everything inside of us and trust him completely with our lives?  Because at one point in time someone we trusted (like our own parents or a preacher) told us that he was alive and very real and that he could save us and he could help us with our troubles and cares.  They told us if we would believe in him with all our hearts that he would come into our heart and dwell with us forever.  And we believed them, and in turn believed in Him with a childlike faith that he indeed is real.  Even though we have no "proof" except what we feel inside and a book (the God inspired Holy Bible) that tells us great things and what we might have learned from our parents, we still believe.  (And that is enough for me, I KNOW God is real and that he saved my soul). 

I feel it's the same concept with Santa.  But, sometimes we can see Santa at the mall or at a store.  Kids think they can sit on his lap or send him a letter.  They get physical presents that they can hold in their hands and they believe it's from him.  They have been told by people they trust that Santa is a real human being that can actually visit every single house on the entire planet in one single night and reindeer can fly.  It's hard to believe this could be possible, but when you tell a child something, they don't know not to believe what you are saying.  Then, one day, when they reach whatever age you have determined is appropriate, you sit them down and tell them you have something important to tell them.  You tell them he's not real.  You tell them what they knew to be true, it in fact, not.  It may sound dramatic and harsh and you may think I've made to much out of it, but it is what it is. 

I am not taking away his childhood.  He doesn't get any less presents.  In fact, if he thinks it's fun to pretend there is a Santa, that is totally fine.  As long as does not truly believe he is real.

That being said, I do not go around shouting from the rooftops to all the little children that Santa is not real.  I am also trying to teach Caden not to blow it for all the other kids around either.  I'm not trying to raise your kids.  Again, that's your decision to make.  But please don't tell me how awful I am that we don't participate in this.  I don't think all the children who are taught to believe in Santa are destroyed for life once they find out the truth (although I for one was DEVASTATED!)  I don't believe that it will ruin a child's relationship with their parents and cause them to never trust another word out of there lying mouths either.  I simply believe it's wrong to lie about anything, and I try my best not to do it. 

These are choices that I get to make as a parent just like you get to decide what's best for your family.  I do not judge anyone for choosing a different way.  It doesn't say anywhere (that I'm aware of) in the Bible that it
is a sin to teach your children about Santa or to let them dress up for Halloween.  I don't think christians will be un-saved for participating in these things.  I think God convicts his children and compels them to know what is right or wrong for them.  Some sins are across the board just plain wrong.  But some things may not be a sin at all, they are just wrong for some people.  (Like there is nothing wrong with watching football, but if you let it become an obsession that comes between you and God, it may become a sin for you)  I know that God has told me and my husband separately the way he wants us to handle this and that is all we are trying to do. 

So, thank you to all of my friends and family and co-workers who understand what I'm trying to do and though you may not necessarily feel the same way about it, you don't attack me for it either.  I love my children with every fiber of my being and would never do anything that I didn't truly believe was best for them.  I pray that I will always be open and listening to the still small voice that comes from God himself to lead me and my family in the way of his perfect will.  Thank you Lord for my family.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

It's a........




That's right!!! We are having another boy!!!!  And we are all so excited!!!!!!!

I told you about the party we had planned, and everything turned out great!  My dad couldn't be there (sad face) because he has been really sick and his Dr advised him not to be around me since I am in a "delicate low immunity kind of way".  Scottie's brother also didn't make it because he's sick too (and his wife is almost 12 weeks pregnant so she was probably tired!) But we had them both on speaker phone as we cut the cake so it was the next best thing to being there.  We all gathered around the kitchen bar and Scottie and I held the knife so we could cut it together.  I was holding Caden in a chair beside us so he could "help".  It was the sweetest moment when we cut the cake and everyone was holding their breath trying to get a peek inside. 

Then all of a sudden Caden shouted "It's BLUE!!!! It's BLUE!!!!  It's a BOY!!!!!!!!!". 

Everyone was yelling and hugging and I went to get the pictures I still had sealed up in the envelope and let me tell ya, he's not shy, and there's no question.  He is definately a boy!!

I picked up the knife again and started cutting into a different part of the cake because I was trying to get a good picture of the blue icing.  I was trying to slide the cake apart or something to get a better angle, but everyone kept laughing at me saying I was trying to find some pink icing in there.  Can't a girl just get a good picture?  Sheesh!

Anyway, after we all passed the pictures around, we went in the living room to watch the DVD of the ultrasound.  He was moving all over the place!!  The sonographer even asked me at one point if I gave that baby some sugar before we came!  I did.  I had about 5 good sips of MtDew before we went in!  I did ask why I don't feel this one move as much or as strong as I had felt Caden.  I know every pregnancy is different, but there really is a good reason for this one.  Last time, the placenta was on the back side of my uterus so there wasn't much between the outside of my belly and Caden on the inside.  This time the placenta is on the front side so it's kind of like a cushion between my belly and the baby.  It sort of absorbs most of the kicks right now.  It did make me feel better to know this.  It's just so amazing to see a little baby moving all over the place on a computer screen, and know that it's inside of you. 
Well, I'm having difficulties getting the pictures I want to upload, so I'll just start a new post full of pics!!!

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

20 Weeks!!!

Well, I made it to the halfway point!!!  It's really cool and really scary at the same time.  I'm so glad we know what it is now, but that means it's time to get started on the nursery and buying other baby gear.  But that's the fun part too. 

So here's a little preggy update.

*So far I've only gained 3lb from my pre-pregnancy weight, but I lost almost 2lb in the first trimester, so I've gained 5lb back. (That made perfect sense, right?)

*Progesterone poisoning Morning sickness is gone, and has actually been gone for a while!!!!

*Still tired, but not the so-tired-I-can-barely-lift-my-fork-to-eat kind anymore. 

*I look a lot bigger at this point than I did with Caden at 20 weeks

*Still not feeling the baby move from the outside yet, but at least we know why now. (See this post)

*Having Braxton Hicks contraction every once in a while.  Not sure if that's good or bad or normal.

*No swelling, headaches, cramping, or any of that other bad stuff.  And no dark line down the middle of my belly!!!!!

*Blood pressure was 103/80 (Has been around 92/58)

*Baby's heartrate was 144

*I'm ALWAYS hungry, but I get full really fast and can't eat as much as I want to cram.

Well, that's about it.  I promise I'll tell you what it is soon!!

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Is it a boy or a girl??????


Thought I was going to tell you didn't you????

Well, I would, but I don't even know yet!

We did go this morning at 8:00am (too early to be awake much less sitting at a dr's office, in my opinion) to have our anatomy scan.  We just have a little twist in the story.  We told the scan tech that we absolutely want to know what this baby is, just not quite yet.  So we asked her to let us know before she started scanning "down there" so we could turn our heads.  We also asked her to put the gender picture in a separate envelope which we sealed up right away.  Why all the madness?????

We are going to have a "Gender Reveal Party" tonight at our house!!!!!!!  It's the coolest idea! (I kind of stole borrowed it from another blog!)  Anyway, I ordered a double layer cake from our local bakery (the best bakery in the world), and my friend that works at my dr's office called them this morning with the results. They are going to put either a pink or blue layer of icing in the middle!!! The outside will be decorated with pink and blue and white and it will say "Boy or Girl?" on the top!!!!  So tonight when we cut into the cake, we will find out the long-awaited answer to the question!!!!  Of course a lot of our family and several friends will be there too!  We will also watch the DVD of the ultrasound so everyone can see the baby too since no one came to the appointment.  We had originally planned to have my mom, my granny, my dad or stepmom, and my mother-in-law in there with us.  The party thing was a last minute decision last weekend. This is so exciting, but it has been such a long day so far and 6:30 seems like a far way off.  But I can make it.  I've made it this far, surely I can go another 7 hours. 

I will try really hard to get back on here soon with pictures and I will definately at least post the answer tonight or in the morning.

Boy or GirlGirl or BoyBoy or GirlGirl or Boy?

Friday, October 9, 2009

18 weeks

I am so bad at this blogging thing.  Shame on me.  I know you are all just sitting on the edge waiting everyday for a new post, all 7 of you! (hahaha)  Well, truth is I just don't have a whole lot of exciting or interesting things that happen in my little life.  But here's some of the normal things going on.

*I will add a picture when I get to my computer*

I am 18 1/2 weeks along now, which by the way is almost halfway to the finish line.  I can't even tell you all the ways that this scares the fool out of me.  I have been anxiously awaiting October 15th for a long time because that is the day that we find out whether Baby Speer is a boy or girl.  The countdown is on and it's only 6 days away now.  I've been so excited to find out what it is that I have been kind of wishing the days away.  But somewhere amongst all this flurry of excitement I realized that once that day comes, I will be halfway through and now I just want time to slow down a little.  I don't really know why I'm so scared.  I mean I have done this before.  But something about have 2 really makes me nervous.  Not to mention all the other preparations that need to be taken care of like, um, the nursery.  But I'm also very excited too.  A mix of emotions, imagine that. 

I have some more half annoying, half could-be-good news too.  This baby is so not moving like Caden did.  I felt Caden moving at 14 weeks and Scottie could see him kick from the outside at 18 weeks.  I felt this little one move at 10 weeks, but it never has really started kicking yet.  Just little fluttering, spastic feeling stuff.  Now this worries me a little because I can only compare to the last time, but I know every pregnancy is different.  I think maybe it might be because I have an extra 15 lbs going into this pregnancy that I did not have last time, so obviously there is more cushioning.  (I was puny last time I got pregnant, always have been)  Then I thought, well maybe this means it's a girl and she will be sweet and laid back since she's so calm now.  Once Caden started moving in the womb, he never stopped.  I mean he's 3 1/2 yrs old and still hasn't stopped moving!  Of course Scottie had to throw his opinion out there and he said "This definately means its a girl, she's already lazy!" WHAT?  Women are most definately not lazy.  We may be picky about what we do, but we're not lazy! 
So anyway, I was sitting on the couch last night watching my stomach for any signs of movement and I saw three little twitchy jumps in one spot!  Maybe the kicking is coming soon!  (I 'm sure I'll regret wishing for this when I have a foot permantly lodged in my ribcage!)

I have been having these "episodes" where my heart starts racing and I get really short of breath and weak.  I asked the Dr about it a few weeks ago and they said it was normal, but last Thursday it hit me hard when I got to work.  I had just driven to work and when I got out of the car it was like a wave crashed on me.  I just sat down on the sidewalk and called inside and told them I needed a minute to catch my breath.  I called the Dr and they brought me in later as a precaution.  They said once again, it's normal.  All the baby stuff is pushing up on my diaghram and lungs causing me not to inhale as much oxygen as I normally would, thus reducing the amount of C02 in my system.  Basically, it's kinda like I'm hyperventalating and he actually told me to breathe into a paper bag when it happens.  Great.....just one more thing to shove in my purse!

I should try to start posting about the pregnancy on Sundays so I can keep a better record of what's going on.  We'll see if I can get that going. (Ha)

Later peeps!