He's mine, back off.

The title of this post comes off a little strong I'm sure, but sometimes it's just what I really want to say to people that are trying to tell me how to raise my son.  I am always open to friendly advice or the "this is what worked for me" type of statement.  But I carried him for 40 weeks and 2 days and then gave birth to him myself, so I fully reserve the right to turn down any advice or simply say thanks but no thanks and proceed to do what I feel is best for him.  Let me explain a few of the bigger points I'm talking about specifically.

We don't "do" Halloween.  We don't dress up.  We don't go trick or treating.  We don't even go to the trunk-or-treat at our own church.  We don't decorate with ghosts and witches or buy spider rings and gummy eyeballs.  In fact, we turn all the outside lights off and keep the doors shut on Halloween night because we don't give out candy either.  Nothing.  We try to completely act like the day doesn't exist because we don't want to have anything to do with it.  My husband and I have agreed from the very first discussion on the topic (there's not a whole bunch of things that we can say that about either!) that Halloween in not of God, in fact it is satanistic.  We feel like everything surrounding the day is dark and evil and we think if we acknowledge it in any way, we may as well be right in the middle of it. 

I'm NOT saying that the simple act of dressing up in a cute or friendly costume is wrong.
I'm NOT saying that giving or eating candy is wrong (I love me some chocolate!!)
I'm NOT saying that everyone that participates in Halloween events are heathens or sinners.
I certainly don't think that my church has anything other than good and pure intentions about having a trunk-or-treat, and I feel completely safe in kids receiving candy and treats from them.  There are christians everywhere that like to dress their kids up and go to safe places and have good clean fun.  I don't believe they are performing satanistic rituals and calling on the spirits and putting curses on people.   

What I AM saying is that we have made the decision for OUR family not to participate.  I will not condemn or belittle anyone for making a different choice for their own family.  In fact, I may even comment on what a cute pumpkin or puppy dog your little baby is in his/her costume.  I will accept a bag of candy from someone I know and trust if they have put an effort into making one for my son.  I am not trying to be disrespectful, but I don't appreciate being attacked for trying to do what's right for my family. 

Another thing I get a lot of slack over is Christmas and Santa Claus.  I refuse to teach my children to believe in Santa. 
Why, you ask???
It's so simple.  It's a no-brainer common sense answer.  (Now don't read this next part out loud in front of kids)

HE'S NOT REAL............

Along with the Easter Bunny and the tooth fairy.  Stay with me now, I haven't completely lost my mind.  My thought is if something is not true or real, then it is a lie.  If  I physically look up to the sky (and I'm not colorblind) and say "Look, the sky is green", it is obviously not true.  Therefore I knowingly told you something on purpose that is not true.  It is a lie.  Why would I willingly and knowingly lie to my children?  Your parents are should be the two people on this earth that you can trust no matter what.  They should be the ones you can go to for any reason and trust what they are telling you is what they believe to be true and right.  Parents are not always right, but they shouldn't steer you wrong on purpose.  So what is the difference in me teaching my child to believe in a fictional person that does not exist and does magical things that are not possible?  If you lie to them about one thing, what makes them think you won't lie about other things? 

We, as christians, tell our children about God and Jesus.  We tell them if they believe in Jesus with all their heart and trust in him that they can be saved and they will go to heaven for all eternity.  We cannot physically see Jesus.  We can't reach out and touch him on the hand.  We have no proof in the eyes of the world that he is real.  So why do we believe in him with everything inside of us and trust him completely with our lives?  Because at one point in time someone we trusted (like our own parents or a preacher) told us that he was alive and very real and that he could save us and he could help us with our troubles and cares.  They told us if we would believe in him with all our hearts that he would come into our heart and dwell with us forever.  And we believed them, and in turn believed in Him with a childlike faith that he indeed is real.  Even though we have no "proof" except what we feel inside and a book (the God inspired Holy Bible) that tells us great things and what we might have learned from our parents, we still believe.  (And that is enough for me, I KNOW God is real and that he saved my soul). 

I feel it's the same concept with Santa.  But, sometimes we can see Santa at the mall or at a store.  Kids think they can sit on his lap or send him a letter.  They get physical presents that they can hold in their hands and they believe it's from him.  They have been told by people they trust that Santa is a real human being that can actually visit every single house on the entire planet in one single night and reindeer can fly.  It's hard to believe this could be possible, but when you tell a child something, they don't know not to believe what you are saying.  Then, one day, when they reach whatever age you have determined is appropriate, you sit them down and tell them you have something important to tell them.  You tell them he's not real.  You tell them what they knew to be true, it in fact, not.  It may sound dramatic and harsh and you may think I've made to much out of it, but it is what it is. 

I am not taking away his childhood.  He doesn't get any less presents.  In fact, if he thinks it's fun to pretend there is a Santa, that is totally fine.  As long as does not truly believe he is real.

That being said, I do not go around shouting from the rooftops to all the little children that Santa is not real.  I am also trying to teach Caden not to blow it for all the other kids around either.  I'm not trying to raise your kids.  Again, that's your decision to make.  But please don't tell me how awful I am that we don't participate in this.  I don't think all the children who are taught to believe in Santa are destroyed for life once they find out the truth (although I for one was DEVASTATED!)  I don't believe that it will ruin a child's relationship with their parents and cause them to never trust another word out of there lying mouths either.  I simply believe it's wrong to lie about anything, and I try my best not to do it. 

These are choices that I get to make as a parent just like you get to decide what's best for your family.  I do not judge anyone for choosing a different way.  It doesn't say anywhere (that I'm aware of) in the Bible that it
is a sin to teach your children about Santa or to let them dress up for Halloween.  I don't think christians will be un-saved for participating in these things.  I think God convicts his children and compels them to know what is right or wrong for them.  Some sins are across the board just plain wrong.  But some things may not be a sin at all, they are just wrong for some people.  (Like there is nothing wrong with watching football, but if you let it become an obsession that comes between you and God, it may become a sin for you)  I know that God has told me and my husband separately the way he wants us to handle this and that is all we are trying to do. 

So, thank you to all of my friends and family and co-workers who understand what I'm trying to do and though you may not necessarily feel the same way about it, you don't attack me for it either.  I love my children with every fiber of my being and would never do anything that I didn't truly believe was best for them.  I pray that I will always be open and listening to the still small voice that comes from God himself to lead me and my family in the way of his perfect will.  Thank you Lord for my family.